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I hate porn!



Ok, that's a lie, I love porn. In fact, I may be addicted to it.

Working from home reviewing sex toys and lingerie, and being active on social media with beautiful porn stars, has its' advantages.

I've become quite adept at multi-tasking; namely watching porn while working.

It all started as a young teen in the 80's, stumbling across a collection of Swedish Erotica. I've been hooked ever since.

If you too have watched porn since the 80's, than you'll know what I'm talking about.

As a disclaimer: All of these are my personal issues and why I have a love/hate relationship with the porn of today.

1. The blow jobs. When did it go from a nice long sensual meaningful blowjob, to a 'let's get this over as fast as I can and make me gag like I'm about to throw up' act? C'mon ladies! Enjoy it!

Take your time and worship that erection. Slow it down and lick it. Tease him. Stop pretending that you're starving and it's the only meat you've had for weeks! (fetish videos do not apply)

2. The Directors Cut. The use of HD has some amazing benefits. However, I think Directors need to be aware that some of us watch porn on obscenely large screens, which enhances every little detail.

Now, I can imagine that filming porn is not without the risk of injury; grab her thighs a little tight and you leave a bruise, sweat while you're on your back too long and you end up with heat pimples.

Please please please do not focus the camera on these areas! Pan out a little, and let me see the rhythm of both participants. The last thing I want to see while I'm watching a hot girl get double teamed, is the camera fixated on her dirty feet! (Fetish videos do not apply)

3. No peeking! I think one of the biggest changes in porn through the years is the story line. I get it.. most vintage porn would try to behave like a box office hit that would end up as a fuckfest.

To me, mainstream porn has become more of a 'let me model for you in this cute outfit, invite a few coworkers over to play and I'm going to keep looking to make sure you're still watching'.

Ladies! I'm a voyeur. I'm still watching. Unless it's POV, there is no need to keep looking at the camera every 2 minutes to make sure.

4. I spit you not. I grew up with the notion that it was considered highly offensive to be spit on. It usually meant the person didn't like you and really wanted to get that point across.

Today, it seems that every time I put on a porn, someone is dripping with spit.. somewhere or everywhere on their body.

The other day the couple even spit in each others' mouth. (GAG) It is perfectly acceptable to take a strangers cock in your mouth, but really? Their saliva? Not sexy at all.

Have some dignity.. just say no... Try some lube if you've had a long day and need to stay wet. I can give you some amazing recommendations. (Fetish Videos do not apply)

I'm sure I could think of more.. but hot co-eds in booty shorts is on my watch list... ;)



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