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Web Guide to Hotwifing
Tips and Tricks for getting started by Seasoned Hotwives
Safety guidelines, real hotwifing scenarios and DV8 Dare Hotwife The Game
An Expert Guide to the Hotwife Lifestyle and The Game
Hotwife Definition:
A woman who is free to have outside sexual experiences with the consent of her partner
Comes from the Lifestyle term HOTWIFE. A woman who is a hotwife is a woman whose husband likes to share her sexually with other men or likes to watch her have sex with other men and the wife enjoys pleasing her husband this way.
Intro to Hotwifing
INTRO: Hotwifing has been in the news lately and has become more mainstream than ever.
The Deviate Network has been at the forefront and we are passing our expertise on to you with this comprehensive web guide.
Tips and Resources from the world of hotwifing from experienced professionals.
The do's and don'ts, Safety guidelines, Terminology and DV8 Dare Intro to Hotwife Game that walks you through various scenarios and outings to help guide you into the exciting world of hotwifing.
Tips & Tricks to getting started
DISCUSS WITH YOUR PARTNER:
Approach the conversation with honesty. Use open communication, set clear boundaries and maintain mutual respect in order to understand your partners’ desires, limits and expectations
TALK ABOUT YOUR FANTASIES:
Set a clear and mutual understanding of what you want out of your hotwife relationship. Discuss together how to identify a compatible individual. Pace yourself according to your comfort level and boundaries. It’s essential to approach hotwifing as a journey rather than a destination
OPENNESS AND CONSENT:
Comfort and consent are paramount, and no decision should ever be made under pressure or coercion. Take things slowly, at your comfort level with low pressure scenarios. Openly share feelings, reflect on the experiences, and support one another emotionally
DEBRIEF:
Provide regular feedback on feelings and comfort. Debrief after every ‘outing’ and ask questions: “What did you enjoy the most about tonight?” or “Was there anything that made you uncomfortable?” Feeling and comfort levels can evolve over time. It’s important to maintain ongoing levels of communication.
Safety & Resources
SAFE SEX:
Having unprotected sex can put everyone at risk of STD’s. If you must have unprotected sex then get tested and screened regularly.
WEBSITES FOR HOOKING UP:
There are reputable websites specifically designed for those who want to be in consensual non-monagamous relationships. Popular Websites like SDC and Kasidie are a discreet way to chat and meet playmates. They offer a screening process and you can check certifications and verifications. Be clear in your profile of what you are looking for. We've included a full list with links below
ATTEND AN EVENT:
Attending lifestyle clubs or resorts can be a great way to meet others in a discreet and comfortable non-pressure atmosphere. Make sure the hosts offer a vetting process. You can find local events on Kasidie and SDC. You can also try Adult resorts like Temptation or Hedonism.
READ REVIEWS:
Reading reviews of lifestyle events and resorts can be a great way to find out more information if the venue could be right for you. There are typically FAQ sections and hosts from reputable clubs and resorts are happy to answer any questions, especially for newcomers.
ANONYMITY:
Use an anonymous persona to protect your private information. Apps like whatsapp can protect your online identity. Use an email address that does not contain or reveal personal information.
MEET IN PUBLIC:
Always meet your date in a public place. The hotwife lifestyle can be extremely exciting, however, safety must always be a priority. There will most likely be situations where you’ll be on your own so it would be wise to take precautions and have some safeguards in place. Make sure your partner knows where you are at all times. Trust your intuition. If something feels ‘off’, leave.
We've included links below with additional resources
Glossary of Terms
BULL: A 'bull' typically refers to a dominant male who engages with a couple where the female partner is submissive, and the male partner derives pleasure from her engagement with the bull.
CUCKOLD: Cuckolding is essentially a form of consensual non-monogamy where a man derives sexual and emotional satisfaction from knowing that his partner is having sexual relations with another man. This is done with his full consent and often includes a variety of dynamics that can range from voyeurism to active participation.
COCKOLDRESS: A woman who cuckolds her husband
ETHICAL NON-MONOGAMY (ENM): Describes a relationship in which participants clearly and explicitly agree to have multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships at the same time.
VIXEN: A word to describe a sexy, flirtatious temptress
STAG: A male who is in a dominant position of the female's sexual life
WIFESTYLE: A term referring to a woman's attitudes and behavior within a marriage
BUKKAKE: Bukkake is a sex act in which one person is ejaculated on by multiple males
RUNNING A TRAIN: To run train (or run a train) refers to when multiple men have sex with a woman one after the other in succession.
THROUPLE: A "throuple" is a relationship involving three people who are romantically and/or sexually involved with each other. Each person in a throuple is considered equally committed to the relationship.
DOGGING: Engaging in sexual acts in a public or semi-public place, often with the presence of onlookers.
Tips & Experiences from Seasoned Hotwives
Holli Hotwife
About Holly Hotwife
I’m Holly Hotwife. I’m a hot mom in her 40’s and a Hotwife to my husband Vincent. We’ve been in the lifestyle since the day we’ve met and have encouraged each other to explore our sexual desires to enhance our already loving and adventurous relationship. My favorite sexy things to do is exhibition type play, gangbangs and hotwifing with my stag. Having my husband watch me receive and give pleasure is exciting and fulfilling.
Safety Guidelines
Communication is key, my husband doesn’t like being out of the loop. Some husbands love a sneaky interaction but that’s not how we like to do things so we always make sure we communicate our intentions, desires and what we’d like to see, hear, do. If something changes, we let the other person know.
As far as safety tips, always use protection and get tested regularly. We risk meeting strangers every day but always use your best judgment and use caution when drinking on excess. Don’t let yourself get too inebriated that you can’t make sound decisions.
My Experiences
-my husband would drop me off at an airport bar or hotel bar and he’d sit outside in the car. I’d be sitting at the bar and if a man approached me, I’d discreetly call my husband and put him on mute. He’d get to hear the convo of us flirting with each other and sometimes if things went well, I’d bring the guy home.
-my hotwife experience got turned up a notch when my husband would find two or more bulls willing to ravish me at the same time instead of just one.
-one time while in New Orleans, my husband wasn’t feeling well but he still insisted I go have fun so I walked down the street and entered into a very busy bar with a mechanical bull, had some beers and got in line for a ride. Once I hopped on, I just turned up the sexy riding and could tell the bouncers were eyeing me so I fell off at the end and walked over to the bouncers and asked if anyone wanted to join me in the bathroom. One did and he let me film our encounter for my husband.
My husband always had the fantasy that he wanted me to fuck each and every man that entered our home. Best friends, neighbors, plumbers, electricians, etc… I always drew the line at married friends but I tried my hardest to fulfill that fantasy by sleeping with all the others. (Of course there were always exceptions)
Safety Tips
One of my biggest tips is to have the husband recruit/vet the men that they are considering. Once he does, send his wife pictures of the potential play partner and a little information about that person.
If the wife approves, give the play partner a phone number, telegram link, Kik etc. so that the wife and play partner can connect.
This is usually done via text. It is important that the husband communicate with the play partner on what to share. When I get a message from a random number knowing it is from a potential play partner like "Hi" or "Hey there sexy" it turns me off.
I hook up with a lot of men who come to town and already have a hotel room because they are here for work.
I always meet for the first time in a public location such as a bar or restaurant. That way you aren't putting yourself in a compromised position by just going directly to the hotel room. If you don't feel a connection you can get out easier.
Sometimes the hot wife and husband meet a play potential together to vet, even if the wife is going to play alone.
Wear condoms to stay safe. If you choose to not wear one then periodically get tested and make sure you see documentation of their tests.
My Experiences
The way we got started was to join some online lifestyle websites (we joined SLS & Kasidie). In fact, we had a group of people that we met on Kasidie who were going to be at Desire when we first went. When we were checking-in, one of the couples from the Kasidie group who had been there many times took us under their wing and made us feel comfortable. We are still friends today. So the bottom line is to begin by meeting people who are in the lifestyle just to gain information on how this whole thing works.
There are a variety of scenarios for hotwifing. We chose to allow each other to meet others on a one-on-one basis and play alone. Others are husband watches (stag/vixen), husband watches and/or serves as a cuck, husband joins in the play and is involved the whole time (MFM). People need to decide what they are comfortable with.
A must try (if you feel comfortable) is to roleplay "pick up the hot wife" in the bar. Even though they had met before, they flirt and pretend that it is real. This helps build the sexual tension.
PG Katee
About Katee
I'm a fun loving party girl looking to enjoy life with like minded sexy fun people. I enjoy meeting new people and making friends before jumping in the bedroom. I'm also a submissive female in her 40's that lives and loves the hotwife/slutwife lifestyle. I thoroughly enjoy serving a sexy confident man with a nice hard cock, fully submitting to his will. Love feeling his desire to consume me, giving myself to him so he can mercilessly fuck me hard and long.
I genuinely enjoy regular sexy guys who enjoy being dominate, love passionate fucking and take good care of their bodies. I'm not new to the swinging hotwife/slutwife lifestyle, have been active in the lifestyle for years. Have experienced MFM Threesomes, MFMF Full and Soft Swap, Group play and attending/hosting lifestyle parties. I'm a wife to my husband, he knows of, and is very supportive of, everything I do.
Katee's Safety Tips and Guidelines
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Getting started:
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Open honest communication with your spouse about each other's fantasies, likes and dislikes.
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Fantasy bedroom roleplay, dirty talk with MF or MFM porn.
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Sex toy introduction, pick-out toys together, recommend dildos of various sizes and types.
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Reassurance and gentle pressure will be needed, concern, fear and or guilt can be a major hurdle that needs to be revisited often.
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Finding a male partner:
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Communicate with your spouse about standards and expectations
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Create a profile on lifestyle websites such as Kasidie, SLS, and Fetlife. Be upfront and honest about desires and experience level, add current pictures, body and face.
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Review all male partners before reaching out, focus on men who have put effort into their profile, have pictures, and certs then reachout within the site.
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Don't compromise your expectations and standards, quality over quantity!.
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Create accounts with a messenger app such as WhatsApp or KIK, dedicated accounts for husband and wife, if you can't trust each other then stop now. The messenger app will help you screen male partners before giving out mobile numbers. The wife having the freedom, and the husband's reassurance, to easily converse directly with potential male partners is key.
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Meeting male partner:
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Communicate with your spouse and then your male partner about goals, roles, and expectations.
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Set up a public meeting at a bar/restaurant that you don't typically visit, make sure everyone understands there is no obligation or expectations other than timely arrival and getting to know each other.
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Encourage the wife to dress to impress.
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Show up early and have a drink to relax, not too much.
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Be prepared for no-shows, tardiness, incompatible personalities, and different physical appearance.
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Beware, nervous tension, too much alcohol, and or opinionated comments can derail things rapidly.
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The husband can help break the ice with friendly introductions, then he should watch her body language and carefully follow the dialogue to see how it progresses.
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Husband encouragement with conversation, drinks, and playful flirting can be very helpful.
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Playtime:
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Communicate with your spouse confirming comfort level and intent.
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If all goes very well, playful flirting in the bar can lead to spontaneous naughtiness in the bar, car, or a nearby hotel.
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If all goes good, setting up plans for the next step at a later date is common. Exchanging mobile numbers may be preferred.
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Husband can encourage the wife to embrace the flattery of the sexual lust of the male partner, empowering her to be okay with her own sexual desires for another.
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Husband can also communicate with the male partner to help him understand the likes and dislikes of the wife.
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Wife can encourage her husband to embrace the naughtiness of her slutty pursuit of lust.
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Wife can share with the male partner her lust fueled anticipation.
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Everyone involved can use some reassurance and encouragement!
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Withholding sex several days before can peak desire for all.
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Day of meet-up/date, confirm plans, life happens, things change.
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Husband, encourage wife to dress sexy.
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Wife, send husband and male partner, teasing pics.
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First sexual meet ups work best at a hotel with all three of you. It offers safety and reassurance for the wife while providing opportunity for all to engage.
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Husband should read the room, it often will require him to offer encouragement and privacy as needed.
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Wife embracing the moment and letting her lust run wild will be critical for all!
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The focus in the hotwife lifestyle is on the wife and her satisfaction, if the date goes well all should enjoy themselves.
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Post playtime:
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Communicate about how things went, what would each of you change. Reconnect emotionally and sexually.
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Plan the next steps.
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Some hotwife couples prefer the wife to play solo with male partners, others prefer the husband to be involved. Some prefer a mix of both.
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Prepare for the unpredictability of the lifestyle. The wife can want a lot more or a lot less, male partners will stop replying, a husband/wife can change desire, and feelings can complicate things. Adjust to changes and embrace each as a new opportunity.
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Fun Hotwife Situations
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Beginner:
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After a night out, when the wife is feeling naughty, have her flash a ROAD CREW or TRUCKERS.
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Have the wife take public sexy selfies
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Intermediate:
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Create a unique alias identity with social media accounts and post sexy pics of the wife.
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Let the wife start sexually oriented conversations with admirers.
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Go to a bar with the husband and flirt with other guys.
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Advanced:
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Have the wife go to a bar posing as a solo female as the husband watches from a distance as she flirts, dances, and kisses other men.
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While on vacation, use an app to find a guy who peaks the wifes interest and invite him back to your room to fuck her.
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Tie, blindfold, and play music in your wifes earbuds, then have a male partner join the husband in teasing the wife. Start slow and ramp up the intensity over time, vibrators and dildos are a must.
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Expert:
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Have a male partner take the wife solo to a public setting and engage in risky naughty acts.
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Have a male partner take the wife solo to engage in naughty sexual acts on him as his friends watch and or join in.
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GET THE GAME
Begin Your Hotwife Journey with DV8 Dare Hotwife
We'll start you off with 40 scenarios from mild to wild. Engage in multi level outings that increase your comfort level, build confidence
and bring you closer to the hotwife experience.
Each level will test your limits while letting you choose how far you are willing to take the experience.
Are you willing to go all the way?
We've included 10 advanced Dares of things you need to try once you are ready to take it to the next level.
With various must try scenarios that will elevate your experience.
See how 'Daring' you are willing to be
Get the Game here at dv8dare.com
7 Things Every Hotwife Should Try
SEVEN SEXY SCENARIOS EVERY HOTWIFE MUST TRY
Now that you've got the jist expand your dares or experiment with other popular advanced scenarios
PUBLIC FLASHING
Public flashing is the oldest form of attention. While your husband drives, flashing truckers or road construction workers.Construction sites or bars are popular, you can discreetly bend over and show your assets or flash your breasts
Why it’s Hot: It’s exciting and you’ll make their day.
THE BLOWBANG
Giving blowjobs to several men at once while they take turns cumming on you or swallowing.
Have your husband arrange a group of men to participate, the more the merrier.
Why it’s Hot: The thrill of pleasing several men and having them cum on you is a truly satisfying experience.
THE HANDJOB
Meet a date in public and give him a handjob someplace risky. Try a parking lot, restaurant or bar, movie theater. Be discreet and take precautions not to get caught.
Why it’s Hot: The thrill of getting caught.
THE PUBLIC RESTROOM
Give a blowjob in a public restroom. Find a stall and give him a hot blowjob. Take it to the next level and fuck. Don’t get caught.
Why it’s Hot: The thrill of getting caught adds to the excitement. Public restrooms add a dirty element to your play.
SURPRISE AND OLDER MAN
Hotwives get a lot of attention from older men. Especially when dressed provocatively.
Surprise an older man with a hot blowjob or more, in his car or ally or adult store.
Why it’s Hot: You’ll have the satisfaction of giving him an unforgettable experience. There is a bit of a taboo element to this. Go ahead make his year!
THE CUM WALK
A cum walk is a scenario of walking in public with cum on your face or clothing. Typically reserved for adult stores, you can try it on a public street or bar. Stay clear of places that you may encounter young adults or minors like parks ect.
Why it’s Hot: Many people you encounter will not know its cum and might second guess what they saw as you walk by. Walking around with cum on you adds a slutty element and exhilaration to your sexual encounters.
DOUBLE PENETRATION
Double penetration or ‘DP’ is a hot scenario to try with your bull and husband. Getting penetrated by two men at once is described as intense and surreal. Adding a third male, taking a DP while giving a blowjob is known as “All holes filled” can be a fantasy fulfillment experience for any hotwife.
Why it’s Hot: You know why ;)
5 Tips for setting up your first Gangbang
PLANNING
Planning a Gang Bang can be tedious and take some work.
As seasoned hosts we advise you to over invite for your adventure.
If you plan on five guys, invite seven. Always plan for no shows.
PRECAUTIONS
Be sure to invite reputable men. A gangbang can be an unforgettable experience but can also be a bad one. Inviting a man you have had experience with is always a safe bet. In your hotwife experience you are bound to come across men that cannot handle a sexually charged atmosphere. They may act immaturely or the alpha male in them may come out and ruin the weeks of planning and the experience as a whole. In short, make sure you properly vet your participants.
RENT A SPACE
We always discourage hosting a large group in your own home. There are many scenarios where this is never a good idea. We recommend renting a space to host your gangbang. A hotel with a large suite is usually your best bet. The time and place is critical. Choose a time of year or day of the week, where hotels might not be too busy. A BnB is a popular choice but make sure the host isn’t one to drop by or use cameras to monitor comings and goings.
HAVE THE MEN PAY
No this isn’t prostitution as long as everyone is chipping in for the expenses. Do not charge an exorbitant amount of money (that is prostitution) but enough to cover your expenses. Calculate the costs of the space, food beverages and condoms and divide it by how many men you expect to show. As mentioned above, “over invite” and divide it up accordingly. Even if there are no shows, your expenses are already covered and it keeps the individual costs down.
Use venmo and cash app to get advanced payment. In the case of no shows, be clear that they are covering your expenses and there are no last minute refunds. You can always make it up to them later if they can’t make it ;)
FILMING CONSENT
It’s likely you’ll want to film her gangbang. After all, this will be an experience you’ll want to relive over and over. Make sure you get prior consent from all participants and take extra steps if they wish to conceal their faces. Typically masquerade masks work well or fixate the camera on her and edit or blur any faces from your video.
CONSENT FORM
It's important to use a consent form or model release when filming, even for private use, It is critical that you have your bases covered.
If you plan to post your video on a fan page, download the model release form and requirements for each participant It’s typical to get
Download a generic PDF model release form below
GET A GLORYHOLE
A Gloryhole is something every Hotwife needs to try. The issue is where to find one!
These Days Gloryholes are difficult to find, and you are never guaranteed a great experience at an adult store.
We've solved that problem by creating a portable version that goes anywhere you want to play.
With planning, you can live out your Gloryhole experience following the same guidelines as a gangbang.
DV8 Dare Gloryholes are lightweight and portable enough for travel. It's a great opportunity to take them to a hotel suite,
BnB or Swinger Party.
Traditional Male Free Standing Gloryhole
Traditional Male Gloryholes; where giving an anonymous blowjob adds to the thrill on both sides.
Setting up an anonymous encounter with a male partner adds to the eroticism, once reserved for Adult Video Stores.
WHY IT'S HOT: Having the husband set up a gloryhole at a Hotel or BnB and not knowing whom you may be
performing oral sex on can be a sexually fulling experience.
European Czech Style Female Reverse Gloryhole
Female Czech Style Glory Holes are gaining in popularity. Unlike the male version, this Female version also known as "Czech Style"
allows for the female to receive anonymous pleasure from a male partner.
Czech Style also known as a "Reverse Gloryhole" is derived from popular videos from the Czech Republic where a
group of men take turns having sex with a female with only her lower half exposed.
WHY IT'S HOT: Not knowing who is penetrating you is the ultimate experience when it comes to sex.
Short of being blindfolded, this method allows multiple men to take turns having anonymous sex with the Hotwife.
This erotic sexual experience is beyond description and is a must try for females wishing to experience this erotic scenario.
Private Gloryhole Booth
Indicative of the Adult Store Video arcade booths, we've created a private Gloryhole Booth that allows the hotwife a fully
immersive gloryhole experience. This private Gloryhole booth, affectionately named "Pandora's Box". can be used in
multiple variations. This Includes the above Czech Style as well as options for one, two or three traditional Gloryholes;
when one hole isn't enough.
WHY IT'S HOT: The experience of servicing up to three men at the same time will take your hotwife experience to new levels
of sexual exhilaration, while at the same time being in a private enclosed booth adds to the anonymity and excitement.
WHY DV8 DARE PORTABLE GLORY HOLES ARE A MUST HAVE:
DV8 Dare has created the first ever Portable Gloryhole collection perfect for the adventurous Hotwife.
These portable Gloryhole collection is the number one choice for Swinger Clubs, Lifestyle Events and Hotwives on the go.
Each Gloryhole is custom made, lightweight and completely portable complete with it's own storage and travel case.
To discreetly hide, sets up and breaks down in minutes. Giving Hotwives the opportunity to Fulfill her Gloryhole
fantasies anywhere you both choose.
Explore our line of Portable Fantasy Furniture and start your adventures.
See how 'Daring' you are willing to be
Get it here here at dv8dare.com
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Hotwife Resources
We've added additional resources to explore and enhance your Hotwife experience. From recommended Hook up sites to Exotic Travel Destinations. Below is a short list of places to explore and websites every Hotwife should check out.
SPLASH MOCHA
Splash Mocha hosts the largest Interracial and Hott Wife conventions for Couples and Select Single Men.
FULL hotel takeovers and consistently have over 1,000 guests.
Entertainment, Parties, Seminars and late night play rooms.
They boast the largest Hotwife events in the United States.
Well organized, safe and comfortable environment, highly recommended.
For more info visit splashmocha.com
LOYAL FANS
Unlike Onlyfans; Loyal Fans gives you broader flexibility to post your content.
You have the ability to show or hide your content giving fans a better overall experience.
OF (Onlyfans) is much more complicated for Alternative lifestyle creators when it comes to multiple partners.
Loyal Fans gives you the ability to interact with fans and a pay one price format for your content.
We highly recommend this platform for posting Hotwife friendly content.
Sign up here www.loyalfans.com
FORBIDDEN VOYAGE
Forbidden Voyage is a guide for recommended Lifestyle friendly Sex Shops,
Swingers Clubs and Adult theaters. Including Gloryhole locations.
Including Etiquette for Single Males
More info here Forbidden Voyage
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TEMPTATIONS RESORTS
Adults only playgrounds that cater to Couples and Single Males
This is the destination spot for the Hotwife experience
With a Choice of Temptation Cancun and Cruises
You can indulge your fantasies in sexy luxury vacation environment
for an unforgettable experience.
More info here Temptations Resorts
HEDONISM
The famous Hedonism Resort is the perfect place for your Hotwife experience.
Since they cater to single males it's a must try opportunity to explore the Hotwife experience
and a luxurious vacation at the same time
One popular event is Hot Wife Week this exclusive event is designed for those
who embrace a liberated lifestyle and seek to explore their desires in a safe,
luxurious, and lively environment.
More info here Hedonism Negril
SDC (Swingers Date Club)
SDC is the world's largest site for the Swingers Community
It's also a great professional resource for finding quality Single Males and Hotwife events Internationally
You have the profile that gives you the option to list your preferences, likes and dislikes
More info here SDC.com
KASIDIE
Though not a Hotwife Site. They are taking steps to support the Hotwife Experience.
Kasidie is a safe and well vetted site that we highly recommend for starting your
More info here Kasidie.com
AFF (Adult Friend Finder)
AFF or Adult Friend Finder is saturated with Single Men. Though not officially a Swinger website
It does offer a chance to flaunt your assets and tease and please single men.
It might take some work to find a reputable suiter on this site. But there are no shortage of
Men to choose from.
More info here Adultfriendfinder.com
FETLIFE
Fetlife is the World's Largest Fetish and Kink
There's absolutely no excuse not to be on Fet aka FetLife since it's a free community.
Fet offers a variety of groups that cater to just about any Kink imaginable and is a great
resource to explore every aspect of your Hotwife Journey.
More info here FetLife.com
FULL LIST OF RECOMMENDED LIFESTYLE SITES & REVIEWS
