Let’s face it, as a Country, these last few months have been challenging to say the least! While some people are spending their quarantine at home learning how to share their business, I prefer to celebrate masturbation month by taking care of business - ME. It’s free, easy and you don’t even need a mask!
Hands-on approach: Let’s start the celebration by taking a self-guided tour of diddling Ms. Daisy. In 2018, TENGA Co. Ltd., a sexual health and wellness company, released the results of a poll which surveyed over 10,000 men and women ages 18-74 across 9 countries. They found that 84% of adults in the US admitted to masturbating regularly, while Spain took the lead with a monumental 93%. Way to pump those percentages, Spain! Give yourselves a hand!
A Touchy Subject: In our lifetime, masturbation was criticized, especially for women. “Hysteria” was treated as an illness, and the ‘cure’ was Female Pelvic Massage (AKA Orgasm) performed by a physician. In fact, the term was still used by the American Psychiatric Association as recently as the 1950’s. Through the years, individuals were taught that touching yourself was shameful, unhealthy, or could even lead to illness. Some psychiatrists also defended the idea that masturbation was a result of a mental breakdown! Depending on your religious influences, it could be considered sinful and would put you on a direct course to the devil. ‘They’ suggested it could lead to side effects including going blind or developing hair on your hands. Thankfully, in recent years, there has been an abundance of acceptance and open discussions regarding self-gratification among singles and couples. So clap your hairy palms together and rejoice! Masturbation is a normal chapter in the book of sexuality!
Ménage à Moi: “So, why do people masturbate”? There is no right answer to this, other than ‘it depends’. While ‘because it feels good’ is at the top of the list, it goes a little more in depth than that. WHY does it feel good? The naked truth is that there are actual medical reasons for it. When we touch ourselves, WE are in control of our own bodies and pleasure receptors. Bringing yourself to orgasm releases endorphins which makes us feel euphoric. In addition to these hormones, self-satisfaction releases neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, which have been proven to lift your spirits and activate the reward circuits in your brain. It’s like saying thank you to your body in sexy and creative ways.
The Five Knuckle Shuffle: There are many benefits of masturbation. A recent study shows that there is a reduced risk of prostate cancer in men. Researchers speculate that the reduced risk was because frequent ejaculation may prevent the build-up of cancer-causing agents in the prostate gland. Men take the forefront in self-satisfaction with an average of 13% more ‘release’ than women.
Paddling the Pink Canoe: In women, orgasm is a useful tool to relieve menstrual cramps and strengthen muscle tone; reducing her chances of uterine prolapse. In older women, it increases blood flow to the vagina, which may help counteract menopause’s uncomfortable effects such as vaginal dryness and pain. Masturbation has many physical and mental health benefits for both men and women. ‘Rubbing one out’ includes more than just a sense of well-being: It enhances sex with each other and has been shown to improve relationships and sexual satisfaction. The benefits continue: improving sleep quality; improving self-esteem and body image; reducing stress and tension; boosts concentration; elevates mood and provides better cognition in aging adults. Considering the benefits, why aren’t more people masturbating? For some, it’s still considered taboo. The shame associated with pleasuring oneself, especially for women, is usually contributed to their upbringing. They feel guilty like they don’t ‘deserve it’ or they’ve been taught that “good girls don’t do that”. Finding time and privacy can also be a major issue, especially with young children in the house under quarantine. One element to keep in mind is that the design of the human body allows us to be in direct contact with our genitals. In my opinion, if we weren’t supposed to touch our sex organs, they wouldn’t be within our reach.
Table for two: According to a recent poll by Uncovering Intimacy, only 34% of married couples admitted to mutually masturbating and 50% use sex toys with their partners. One theory as to why more couples don’t masturbate, is the viewpoint that masturbation means that sex with their partner is unsatisfactory. This is a myth. Mutual masturbation is shown to enhance your sex life with your partner; it promotes intimacy and satisfaction allowing you to fulfill your desires and needs, separately, but still together. Over half of Americans 18-54 have used a sex toy, including 60% of Women and 44% of Men. According to Business Wire, the sex toy industry has grown into a 23 Billion dollar industry as of 2017, and is projected to reach a 35.5 Billion by 2023. How do you combine masturbation and sex toys together, so both partners benefit? Let’s explore.
Masturbation Nation: Men are typically more visual creatures than women. They may be drawn to adult magazines and pornography, while women may only need a sexy imagination and a daydream fantasy. If you are ready to introduce mutual masturbation into your relationship, you may wonder, “How does one bring up the idea to my partner?” Let’s think about the happy ending to date night. Does the obligatory play start off with porn? Perhaps escape to your man cave flipping through the latest issue of horny babes in toyland? Does your partner know about it? Support it? Then you are already halfway there! Communication is a gateway. Ask your partner, “what are your fantasies? What turns you on? Is there anything I can help you with?” While men and women don’t always agree with the type of porn they watch, you can achieve common ground by simply talking about it. Women? Does the idea of a handyman coming over half-naked with a hard-on tickle your fancy? Men? Does a young hot cheerleader stimulate your shaft? Since there are an endless supply of movie titles available, you can find a common ground, even in the same film. You can begin your jacking jill party by communicating your inner fantasies. Take turns watching each other masturbate. It will be a game changer for sex. Watch where they touch, what makes them moan, watch how certain techniques make their body writhe in pleasure. Ladies, once you know what your mate likes to watch, why not whisper a sexy scenario in their ear while you stroke them passionately. Men, keep a close eye on her body language, listen to her intently. Once her breath starts to quicken, why not thrust her favorite toy inside of her while lightly kissing her neck. Afterall, it’s about the selfless pleasure you can give to one another. So what are you waiting for? Feeling unsatisfied? Butter that muffin! Quarantine making you tense and overwhelmed? Beat that meat! Trouble sleeping? Drain the pipes! Whatever justification suits you at the moment, masturbation just may be the answer to what ails you. It’s time to pass the time with pleasure.